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Action guide for the Awareness Committee

How do we deal with boundary violations, violence, and such?

At the Queer Center, we do our best to make sure that as many queer people as possible, with different experiences, can feel relaxed and welcome here. We trust that people who come to the Queer Center want to be caring and friendly toward others.

When different people come together, conflicts and hurts will arise – if only because we have all grown up in a world of violence and power imbalances. We can learn from each other in such situations and behave differently towards each other in the future. Based on the assumption that people learn, rethink, and change, we have discussed what we want to do if a person behaves in a hurtful, abusive, or discriminatory manner at the Queer Center.

In such situations, the Awareness Committee takes action. You can report incidents or file complaints with this committee: https://queereszentrumkassel.de/beschwerde.
The Awareness Committee will treat your information confidentially. You can report anonymously. In consultation with you, the committee will engage in dialogue with the person who committed the act of violence.

The stages we describe here are an attempt to learn together and protect people where necessary. Part of this protection is that we take seriously the impact that behavior has on the person affected or the atmosphere in the room, regardless of whether it was “well-intentioned” or meant to cause harm. We know that theese stages cannot do justice to every situation. If we realize that outside support is needed, we seek counseling, conflict mediation, or other assistance. As the Awareness Committee, we review once a year with an external consultant the extent to which social power structures and personal connections influence our decisions.

Stage 1

A person behaves in a hurtful, abusive, or discriminatory manner at the Queer Center and we become aware of it.

Members of the Awareness Committee arrange a meeting with the person and discuss the situation. The Awareness Committee and the person agree on how to proceed. Depending on what happened, the agreement could be, for example:

  • The person apologizes to the other person, if they wish.

  • The person reads the Queer Center's code of conduct and discusses them with at least one other person.

  • The person will not flirt at the Queer Center for an agreed period of time. During this time, the person will reflect what consensual flirting might look like.

  • The person will attend a workshop on racism within an agreed period of time and regularly discuss racism and allyship.

After a mutually agreed period of time, Awareness Committee  and the person check in with each other to see how the agreement has been/is being implemented.

Stage 2

A person behaves in a hurtful, abusive, or discriminatory manner at the Queer Center again,
or a person with whom we are currently in contact does not adhere to agreements and we become aware of this.

Members of the Awareness Committee arrange a meeting with the person. We talk about why the previous agreement is not working and discuss how to proceed differently. To this end, we make another explicit agreement. Depending on what has happened, the agreement could be, for example:

  • The person and the Awareness Committee discuss the code of conduct together and clarify any misunderstandings. The Queer Center writes a clearer code of conduct.

  • For an agreed period of time, the person only comes to the Queer Center when a member of the Awareness Working Group is present. Furthermore, the person will not flirt at the Queer Center and is responsible for developing a consent-based approach.

  • For an agreed period of time, the person will only come to the Queer Center when a member of the Awareness Working Group is present. The person will find a small group for a binding exchange on racism and allyship and make up for the workshop.

After a mutually agreed period of time, the Awareness Working Group and the person will check in with each other to see how the agreement has been/is being implemented.

Stage 3

A person continues to behave in a hurtful, abusive, or discriminatory manner at the Queer Center, or
a person with whom we are currently in communication continues to fail to comply with agreements and we learn of this, or
a person is unwilling to talk after an incident or fails to recognize the problem.

The Awareness Committee discusses banning the person from the premises. Depending on the incident, this may be for a limited period of time.
Towards the end of this period, the Awareness Committee and the person discuss the conditions under which the person can remain at the Queer Center. Depending on the outcome of the discussion, the exchange continues at stage 1, 2, or 3.

Stage 0 – Urgent situation

A person shows up to cause trouble, or
a person becomes physically violent, very aggressive, or sexually abusive at the Queer Center.

The person is banned from the premises. The ban may explicitly be imposed by the persons responsible for the current event.
The Awareness Committee is then informed and discusses how to proceed.
The ban remains in place at least until a discussion with the Awareness Committee has taken place.